i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl.
She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
- Having sex every day.
- Saving sex for your wedding night.
- Never having sex.
- Having sex with different people.
- Having sex with one person.
- Having sex with a person of your same gender.
- Loving sex.
- Hating sex.
- Being loud.
- Being quiet.
The only thing wrong with sex?
When it’s not consensual.
Because that’s not sex. That’s rape.
Reblogging again because this post is so important.
DO YOU JUST HAVE SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE THAT MAKES YOU REALLY HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT WITH YOU AND THEY JUST ALWAYS CHEER YOU UP AND THEY PUT THEMSELVES DOWN SOMETIMES BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHY BECAUSE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM IS SO AMAZING AND YOU WANT THEM TO BE IN YOUR LIFE FOREVER BECAUSE THEY MAKE YOU SO HAPPY OH GOSH